There are many concerns homeschool moms have as they raise & educate their children at home. Socialization is NOT one of them. Fifteen years ago when we began this journey in life that may have been a little more true, should one think ideal socialization is linked only to the time spent in a classroom. But today, even if one thinks far beyond that box, it isn't a lack of socialization homeschoolers have to be cautioned against, it is the opposite - over socialization. Activities must be weighed with both academic & personal interaction/relationship building as beneficial factors. Enter football.
Our middle guy is an athlete in a family of nerds. He's pretty much the typical middle guy - quiet, unopposing, peacemaker, compassion driven. So when we found a local homeschool middle&high school football team, he was over the moon. He found a place where he belonged - not that he didn't belong with us, it just wasn't as forced.
Two years of middle school ball with amazing godly coaches & he was finally beginning to gain more confidence in his physical abilities. He was leading by example & looking forward to varsity ball. I had caught a few names & even fewer faces - you try doing a lineup when all you ever see are facemasks & jersey numbers! And so here it is - OUR first year of varsity ball. That taller, skinny, fast kid was now dwarfed by these Goliath type Amazonian men who were breathing fire & aiming to break him in half with their glares. Ok, I jest!
Everybody who's ever played ball knows this fact - FRESHMEN MUST PAY THEIR DUES! So unless you're one of those Goliath Amazonian types or as good as JJ Watt, you're going to do a whole lot of practice followed by a whole lot of second string play. Having just lost a pretty big class the previous year, a smaller - let's call it "concentrated" - team meant most of our guys would have the opportunity to play both sides of the line though.
There's something to be said of team sports & the family mentality you develop as you join together with people you otherwise wouldn't hang out with on a daily basis. If the homeschool community is tight knit, sitting & watching these young men grow together as they take that field every Friday night to face the giants on the other side of that line builds bonds that rival a newly built family that you cheer on, struggle with and face defeat with head on. So with that, we set out for the National Homeschool Football tournament in Florida with a little less than a winning record.
I'll never forget the 11hr drive there, alone, with my kids. I had never set out to do anything like this before without my parents, without my husband. So finally driving up in that driveway of the retreat that was hosting the tourney, I felt a relief. I was once again with my people. But almost as soon as the relief washed over me, a deep grief gripped my entire being as my dear friend, A, met me at my car to deliver the news.
The undertone of our trip to tourney this year would be the loss of one of our precious player's dad. Unbeknownst to me in my little red pathfinder driving away, less than an hour from our hometown, a phone call had been received that a long, hard battle with cancer had taken one of our dads. The young men that had made it ahead of us were somber as they waited for the team van to arrive that carried their teammate, their friend, their brother. I pulled my own player aside & through tears told him the devastating news.
And though I have always made a point to not tell the story of others, I will share with you that this young man, L, told Coach S, our conditioning coach, that the way he wanted to honor his dad was to continue on and play in his name. Our baited breath that night dissolved into tears of mourning as the van pulled in a little while later. I watched these young men surround L, unsure of what, if anything to say. All they had to offer him was their presence, so that's what they gave. Very few words were spoken, unlike Job's suckie friends in the Bible. I watched this team of boys become men that night as they faced together the worst that life has to give. Loss.
With determination and purpose, L was on FIRE for our game the following day. You could see it from the sidelines in the way that he carried himself. He would lead our guys into a win, the first win at tourney in our team's history. But what many missed at the end of that game was the heart crushing sight of the help L received from Coach S in taking his pads off, normally a dad's job. We moms stood there sobbing as we were privy to this moment of tenderness & love.
L stayed with us the next day, our team building day with a light practice & some play on the beach. Coach S, Coach F & Coach P then drove L to the nearby airport for him to make the flight home to be with his mom & sister. But he left his determination & purpose with our boys. They would play in the championship game the following day in L's name, in honor of Mr K.
L is an upperclassmen - my Jay, a freshman. Aside from occasionally being Chemistry lab partners, these two frequently subbed for each other on the field. With L at home in mourning, Jay would find himself in a place where he loved the extra play time but upset by the way he got it. Every time he took that field today, he knew that it was because L could not. The weight of the situation on his 5'9" 120lb soaking wet frame was very heavy. And every time that he took the field, I thought of J, S & L at home and my heart hurt a little more each time I saw my son playing the game that he loves.
So when today's game came down to the wire with us up by less than a touchdown, we all knew exactly what was at stake. The march downfield by the Blue Angels had us all on pins & needles. With seconds left on the clock, they passed the ball with their last play. And there he was, my excited, heartbroken freshman, playing cornerback. Jay was in place about our 5yd line and caught the ball to end the Angel's march & the Lions season. Win. Lions.
Watching these young men overcome a season of injuries & adversity with a win was exhilarating. Of course we were jumping up & down, knowing exactly what this win meant. But when my freshman finally made it off the field & over to me, he removed his helmet & with tears streaming down his face said three words, "Mom, but Levi."
We both had the same thought. The same reaction. Gratitude coupled with deep grief. It was because of L's loss that Jay had been on that field. It was because of S's loss that Jay's siblings were dancing around like nuts. It was because of J's loss that my son caught that interception.
A simple trip to tourney in Florida gave birth to many more life lessons than any of us set out to learn. I wish that I had words to offer J, S & L that would comfort them in this time but words simply escape me. I do know that Mr K would have been thrilled to know that these young men rallied around L & they dedicated the entire trip to both of them. But I also know that because of Mr K's deep faith in Jesus, that he would have wanted our boys to play in a way that honored God. I can tell you that they did. Through the deepest loss of your lives, please know that God was honored. Our family will remain changed by L & Mr K. I will always remember why my son caught the interception that yours could not.
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