I saw you there. In my dream last night. It's been almost two years since I saw you last. Since I heard that beautiful voice.
Oh, how I prayed that God would let me dream of you in the months and months that would follow, just so that I could have some sort of peace, trying to grasp that you were in His arms, safe and whole again. But it wouldn't happen until last night and even then I was startled awake by the morning call of the clock, reminding me that time won't stand still just because I'm still trying to figure things out.
I tried to call you a couple times over the holidays. I don't know why. Something in my brain just didn't connect until my fingers started punching numbers on the screen. Then. I remembered.
But there you were last night. Just as beautiful as ever. No edema. No striations going down your arm. No nausea. The look in your eyes was that same 'ol glittery shine from days gone by. The one that could comfort the most weary and unsettled hearts. And though I still haven't heard your voice, you communicated to me that you had had to go. There was a place of healing beyond our wildest dreams. You knew that we would never be able to let go and so...in His infinite wisdom and sovereignty God took you. He took you to be healed into that bubbly, bouncy blonde everyone else remembers you to be. And now I remember too.
You were so beautiful. And I miss you every single second of the day. But now, maybe the beginning of a touch of peace.
And a whisper of "Thank you Lord for your goodness to me."
